Last week I lost a dear friend super suddenly and so for the last few days I've been deeply immersed in a grief bubble. Pair this loss with the fact that I'm writing this blog post on Election Day in the U.S. and I'm sure you can guess ... emotions are HIGH.
I know it's not just me. It feels hella chaotic out there and the women I talk to say they're deeply disconnected, anxious and overwhelmed. Many of us are carrying deep grief within our bodies which can feel like a painful barrier - a numbing agent - keeping us from moving forward or finding peace. Fortunately, there is a gentle yet powerful practice that can help us reconnect with the heart so we can release some of this pain. It's called heart coherence breathwork.
The heart coherence breath technique offers a way to synchronize the breath, mind, and heart - creating a state of inner harmony.
When practiced regularly, it can help soothe emotional wounds, release grief, and cultivate compassion and peace. In this post, we’ll explore what heart coherence breathwork is, how it affects the heart and mind, and specific ways you can use it to heal grief and open up to more love, joy, and connection.
What is Heart Coherence Breathwork?
Heart coherence breathwork is a technique that involves equal inhales and exhales - for example in for 5, out for 5. This rhythmic breathing creates a state of coherence between the heart and brain. When our heart is in coherence, it sends harmonious signals to the brain, which in turn helps regulate our emotional state and creates a sense of calm and focus.
The term "heart coherence" was popularized by the HeartMath Institute, which discovered that specific breathing patterns could induce a synchronized rhythm between the heart and brain, positively affecting emotions and stress levels. This coherence doesn’t just make you feel calm; it also has measurable effects on the body, including reducing cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and increasing DHEA, a hormone associated with vitality and resilience.
Heart Coherence breathwork can also increase and strengthen your heart rate variability or HRV. This is a key health indication and measures the variation in time between heart beats. Your heartbeat naturally speeds up and slows down throughout the day depending on things like stress, exercise and your nervous system. The autonomic nervous system controls your HRV (it also controls things like your breathing, blood pressure and digestion). Consciously changing the way you breathe - through exercises like coherence breath - can help build a stronger (aka longer) HRV.
In this case, the higher the variability the better since studies show having a higher HRV can be a sign of better cardiovascular health. A higher HRV is also a sign that you're better able to handle stressful situations. Meanwhile, a lower HRV may be a sign of heart problems.
How Heart Coherence Breathwork Heals Grief
Now that we've talked about the health benefits of coherence breath, let's talk about the emotions and mental benefits - specifically around grief. Grief is an experience of deep emotional pain that affects the entire being: mind, body, and spirit. Heart coherence breathwork can be particularly healing for grief because it directly addresses the heart, the emotional center, and the nervous system where we often hold unprocessed pain. Here’s how heart coherence can support the grief-healing journey:
Regulating the Nervous System: Grief can send the nervous system into a state of dysregulation, making it difficult to move beyond the pain or feel grounded. When you practice heart coherence breathwork, you’re helping to regulate your nervous system by activating the parasympathetic “rest and digest” response. This can bring a sense of safety and calm, allowing your body to relax and release some of the tension that grief tends to hold.
Connecting with the Heart: The heart is where we experience our most profound emotions, and it is also where we tend to close off when in pain. By bringing attention to the heart through breathwork, we can slowly reopen this center, allowing grief to be acknowledged, felt, and released. This gentle awareness nurtures a loving connection with yourself, inviting a feeling of compassion rather than suppression.
Fostering Self-Compassion: Heart coherence breathwork allows you to practice self-compassion by sending love and forgiveness to yourself. Grief often brings up feelings of guilt or regret; however, heart coherence helps you soften and find compassion in those difficult emotions, helping you to forgive yourself and experience a sense of relief.
How to Practice Heart Coherence Breathwork
Heart coherence breathwork can be practiced almost anywhere, making it accessible in moments of both calm and distress. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you get started:
Find a Comfortable Position: Sit comfortably with your spine straight, shoulders relaxed, and hands resting on your lap. If it feels right, place one hand on your heart and the other on your lower belly, helping you to focus on your breathing.
Start by Noticing Your Breath: Gently close your eyes and begin by noticing your natural breath without trying to change it. Observe its rhythm, feeling the rise and fall of your chest or belly.
Slow Down and Deepen the Breath: Begin to slow down your breath, inhaling through the nose for a count of 5, then exhaling for a count of 5. Aim to keep your breathing smooth and effortless, feeling the air move in and out of your body in a relaxed way.
Focus on the Heart: Bring your awareness to the area around your heart. As you breathe, imagine that your breath is flowing in and out of your heart center. You can visualize a soft, warm light glowing around your heart with each breath, filling your chest with a sense of peace and calm.
Cultivate a Positive Feeling: As you continue breathing in this rhythmic, heart-focused way, bring to mind a feeling of appreciation, love, or compassion. This could be a memory of someone you love, a peaceful place, or simply the feeling of gratitude for this moment. Let this feeling wash over you, filling your heart and body with warmth.
Stay with the Breath: Continue this heart-centered breathing for several minutes, focusing on the feeling of warmth and openness in your heart. If emotions arise, allow them to move through you without judgment. Know that each breath is helping you release and heal.
Here's a guided, 12-minute heart coherence breathwork practice you can try right now to help improve your HRV and express your grief.
Using Heart Coherence to Heal and Open the Heart
Practicing heart coherence regularly can have a profound impact on your ability to process and release grief. Here are a few specific ways it can open the heart and support emotional healing:
Building Emotional ResilienceThe consistent practice of heart coherence breathwork can make it easier to navigate intense emotions. By regularly returning to this state of coherence, you’re training your nervous system to respond to challenging emotions with calm and resilience rather than shutting down.
Releasing Unprocessed GriefGrief often remains in the body as unprocessed emotion, leading to physical or emotional pain over time. Heart coherence breathwork gives you the space to acknowledge and feel these emotions safely, creating a channel for them to be released in a gentle way.
Cultivating Inner PeaceA heart that is open and coherent naturally feels more peaceful and connected. Heart coherence breathwork helps you tap into this state, replacing anxiety and sorrow with a gentle, nurturing calm. Over time, this sense of peace grows, becoming your default state as you continue the practice.
Increasing Compassion and LoveBy regularly connecting with your heart in this intentional way, you’re fostering a deeper sense of love for yourself and others. This compassion can be a balm for the emotional wounds that grief leaves behind, helping you to see life and loss with softer eyes.
Integrating Heart Coherence Breathwork into Daily Life
Making heart coherence breathwork part of your daily routine is a powerful way to nurture and heal yourself from within. Even five minutes a day can shift your emotional state, promoting inner peace and allowing you to approach life’s challenges from a place of love and resilience.
Here are some tips to help you integrate this practice:
Start small: Begin with just five minutes in the morning or evening and gradually increase the time as you feel comfortable.
Pair it with other healing practices: Heart coherence works beautifully alongside practices like journaling, somatic movement, and meditation.
Practice during moments of stress: When you feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes to reconnect with your breath and bring your heart back into coherence.
Heart coherence breathwork offers a gentle yet powerful pathway to healing grief, opening the heart, and cultivating emotional resilience. This practice is a reminder that the heart can heal and that peace is always accessible within you. With each breath, you are giving yourself the gift of compassion, acceptance, and love—a true return home to your heart.
Leslie Draffin is an internationally certified somatic psychedelic guide and trauma-informed breath & meditation coach who specializes in helping you heal your mental health, overcome trauma and create the life you deserve. She does not condone the use of illicit substances and does not provide access to any illegal drugs. Her work aims to educate and reduce risk for those who choose to explore psychedelics for personal growth and healing.
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